For the first time in three and a half weeks, it feels like I’m slowly getting blood flow back to my heart. NOTHING in this life can prepare you for the loss of a friend. A friend that you loved more than just a friend but like a sibling that has the same Father. It doesn’t seem real. “Grief” is this word that we slap on an emotional rollercoaster that we didn’t buy a ticket for. You feel like crying/yelling/sleeping/running/vomiting all at the same time. The week leading up to his funeral everyone said all the right things, brought all the right food, signed all the right cards, but why is nobody wanting to talk about him? Today I unpacked the candle holders that I snagged the day of he and my best friends wedding reception. I’ve always loved these candle holders but today I just buried them in my chest and sob as they were a sweet reminder of a true love story. I wanted to drive to my best friends house and when she opened the door, I wanted to hug her and not let go until it was awkward. I know that he is with our Father and one day I will see him again. My heart literally is in my throat when I look at my best friend and see something I’ve never seen before……. broken, uneasy eyes. She is beyond grief-stricken and devastated but God and the love for her husband has given her exactly what she’s needed to get through this day. The sadness has been overwhelming and people have been down right insensitive. The truth is life does go on but its just never the same as it once was. Bye my sweet friend. Say hello to everyone for me and hold my baby I never had the opportunity to meet. I look forward to seeing you again and tasting Heaven’s hottest chicken wings:) img_0377

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